Aware vs Unaware Qualities in Relationships

Here's the real game-changer, as promised: Aware vs Unaware qualities in relationships.

Understanding the feminine and masculine archetypes is only part of the equation.

It's also important to know the aware and unaware qualities of these polarities.

Why use aware and unaware?

Because it's the least charged and triggering—but it means healthy/unhealthy, mature/immature, developed/undeveloped. And there's no shame in this.

Think of it this way: I used to have an orange tree in my backyard that made great big juicy oranges. I never yelled at the green oranges, "Why aren't you orange yet?!" Instead, I let them mature and didn't pick them until they were ready. I chose the big orange oranges that were hanging low and heavy with juice, ready to be squeezed with my breakfast.

But we shame, blame, and make each other wrong for not being fully mature. Instead, the invitation is to treat each other like green oranges—don't pick them! Remember, they're still growing, and trust their soul's path.

Before we look at both the aware and unaware qualities of masculine and feminine polarities, note that all genders embody all of these. The pronouns used may refer to "he" and "she," but they apply to all men/women/nonbinary people.

Unaware Masculine

The unaware masculine is angry, forces his desired outcomes, and is a bully. He rules as a tyrant, exhibits narcissistic qualities, contracts mentally, and reacts physically. Whenever he's scared or hurt, he will check out psychologically and emotionally and react physically with violence and aggression.

Now, I think you can start to see and feel that these qualities can exist in all people, regardless of gender.

Aware Masculine

The aware masculine is present. He gives you his full attention and isn't checking his phone when you're speaking. He knows how to hold space, allowing others to express themselves fully. He creates safety and witnesses without judgment. He is about knowledge and seeks teachers and guides, reads books, listens to podcasts, researches, and learns. The aware masculine is also about conscious endings so both people can find a win-win as they come to a close and part ways.

Again, can you see these qualities beyond a person's gender as energetic qualities?

Unaware Feminine

The unaware feminine is fearful. She contracts physically and reacts verbally—taking away the tenderness and sex. She's a martyr and self-sacrificing. She's dramatic, flailing, and chaotic. She's manipulative, conniving, and calculating in a self-serving way at the expense of another but from a place that is fearful, sneaky, and covert (unlike the unaware masculine that is violent and aggressive).

I hope you can see I'm not speaking solely about women here and that you can see these qualities as well in men and nonbinary folx.

Aware Feminine

The aware feminine's highest value is love. She comes back to love when there's discord. She holds compassion in the highest regard and she's grounded and rooted in the earth because she trusts nature. She knows she's safe because she has healthy boundaries. She radiates and magnetizes what she wants. She has wisdom from lived experience and intuition and is also about birth and conscious new beginnings.

These qualities exist in all people—men/women/nonbinary alike!

Ultimately these are universal human qualities that apply equally to people of all gender.

The point is to provide another map of where you may find yourself out of alignment—what are the aware and unaware qualities of the masculine and feminine within you that show themselves in your relationships?

Viewing your relationship through the aware and unaware masculine and feminine lens can provide insight into the dynamics at play. This perspective may help you make sense of what's happening and facilitate better communication.

Embodying the counter aware energy often diffuses the unaware—for example, tapping into the aware masculine qualities diffuses the unaware feminine and vice versa, the aware feminine can diffuse the unaware masculine.

I could write novels about this subject!

With love,

Ria from ISTAgration