The 4 Players in Every Relationship

I was banging my head against the wall in my relationships, desperate to understand the negative relationship cycles I kept finding myself in. Those annoying repetitive arguments... the same kind of breakdowns between different partners... can you relate? 

I was at a loss. 

Then a light bulb went off.

I learned that there weren’t just two people in the relationship. There were actually four: my inner feminine and masculine, and my partner’s inner feminine and masculine!

By understanding that masculine and feminine archetypes lived inside both me and my partner, I was able to unlock a whole new dynamic in my relationships.

Learning the distinctions between aware qualities (mature and healthy) and unaware qualities (unhealthy and immature) has been particularly helpful. I'll save the topic of these qualities for another email!

You already know a bit about this. At your ISTA Level 1, you got to spend entire days, and whole rituals, embodying these archetypes. 

How about a refresher?

Masculine Archetypes

The bonds of Brotherhood and camaraderie allow you to have each other’s back and to remember to love each other, even when it hurts. 

The Lover archetype knows when to soften and lean into conscious passion, desire, and ravishment. 

The Warrior stands strong, exuding strength, courage, and protection. 

The King is the ultimate sovereign in his connection to Divine Source. He is the benevolent leader and authority who carries his sword of truth in his spine, cutting his own bullshit and that of those he loves. 

The Magician and Shaman embody spiritual wisdom and healing. They are able to freely traverse the ordinary and non-ordinary worlds.

Feminine Archetypes

The Maiden represents youthful innocence and playfulness. In sisterhood, we come together to share our vulnerabilities. 

The Mother embodies nurturing, unconditional love, sourcing this devotion of care directly from the Earth which can hold all of us. 

The Priestess and the Oracle embody intuition and mysticism, drawing their magic from the womb and blood. 

The Queen exudes regal authority and grace—she is the sovereign that sees all of her queendoms with great love and compassion. 

The Crone and wise woman bring their wisdom from lived experience, and we all turn to them for guidance.

In Relationship

By welcoming and developing each of these archetypes, you can support yourself in key areas of your life and identify which you’re most comfortable being and which are more of a stretch.

Remember, there is massive untapped intelligence waiting to be discovered in the archetypes you find more challenging to embody!

Understanding these archetypes can help you: 

• Recognize them in others and better understand their motivations and behaviors as a result.
• Embody complementary archetypes to the ones those around you embody.
• Access more accountability and responsibility. 
• Cultivate a nurturing quality and healthy vulnerability.

• Convert unhealthy aggression into powerful inner peace, calm, or playfulness. 
• Upgrade your decision-making and action-taking capacities.  
• Bring your vivid imagination together with a deep appreciation for the little moments in day-to-day life.  

When you can hold both the masculine and feminine polarities, regardless of your gender, magic awaits.

Meaning, while gender may play a role, these archetypes do not necessarily correspond to traditional male and female genders or roles.

And it makes for quite a juicy relationship!

If you're keen on learning more about Maturing the Inner Masculine & Feminine, it's available via the ISTA Integration HomePlay where ISTA faculty Araminta Barbour and Winter Jade Icely go in-depth and take you through naming their inner masculine and feminine, listing out the immature qualities and where these aspects fall short, and how to bring them back to integrity through the power of vulnerable honesty.

Check out the ISTA Integration HomePlay of Maturing the Inner Masculine & Feminine via your Integration Portal 

Until next time,

Ria from ISTAgration